


The wisdom to know the difference

by devilscut



Series: There are nights when the wolves are silent and the moon howls. [3]
Category: Teen Wolf (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Anal Fingering, Anal Sex, Angst, Bottom Derek Hale, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, First Kiss, First Time, Loss of Virginity, M/M, Mating Bond, POV Stiles, Season/Series 03 Spoilers, Top Stiles Stilinski, Xenophilia
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-01-02
Updated: 2014-01-02
Packaged: 2018-01-07 04:21:30
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Underage
Chapters: 1
Words: 10,396
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1115445
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/devilscut/pseuds/devilscut
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Stiles welcomes the appearance of Scott at the Veterinary clinic after some very embarrassing advice from Deaton, however, it doesn't last for long.  The temperament of wolves and each desiring to claim Stiles for their own reasons, push Scott and Derek to the edge with a surprising outcome and of course Stiles is the one who gets hurt.</p><p>Reeling from Stiles being injured, Derek and Stiles return home and Stiles discovers that Derek has many insecurities regarding his current appearance and how he contrasts so much to his mate.  With some home truths and stern words Stiles is able to reassure his wolfbeast.</p><p>No one is more surprised than Stiles when Derek agrees to consummate their mate bond.. now if he can only get him to hold still.</p>
            </blockquote>





	The wisdom to know the difference

**Author's Note:**

> Well I'm on a roll with this series and hoping that I'll be able to finish it quickly and move back to my other works.
> 
> Lots of happy sexy times in this part, with a hefty dose of angst because that's just my style, my porn muse has been unleashed.
> 
> Please note well that this is a love scene between a 17 year old and a werewolf in a very altered beast-like state.
> 
> The title comes from the following quote:
> 
> God grant me the serenity to accept the things I can not change, the courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to know the difference - Reinhold Niebuhr
> 
> Unbeta'ed.

To say that seeing Scott walk through the front door of the clinic was a relief, was the understatement of the year.. the fucking decade as far as Stiles was concerned, even after all that had been said between them the night before.

 

Stiles was never so grateful to see someone after the really, really, really uncomfortable conversation that Deaton had been trying to have with Stiles regarding the seduction of one Alpha wolfbeast, who was making it abundantly clear that Stiles’ penis and his wolfy ass were not coming into any contact now or in any future time. 

 

He had a feeling that probably included in all the alternate realities and/or universes that maybe out there as well.  The clarity came from the flaming red eyes, growling and bearing of canines, that were nearly as long as Stiles’ little finger, at him whenever he came close.

 

“Will you stop that.. you’re acting like I’m gonna jump your bones any minute now.”  Stiles finally snaps, frustration coursing through his body as Derek skittishly gives him a wideberth as he goes to greet his best friend. 

 

There is still love and desire coming through the bond but.. it feels different.  It’s tainted with something almost like fear, like his wolfbeast is feeling threatened.  Derek hadn’t let Stiles touch him at all since Stiles’ body gave him away entirely, by getting so frickin’ hard at the idea of fucking Derek into the mattress.  He misses it, but he kinda figures it's hardly a mystery why Derek’s feeling so antsy around him.

 

“Hey man..”  Scott stands by the doorway with his backpack slung over his shoulder.  “Look about last night..”  Scott looks down at his feet sheepishly and if there had been any dirt to scuff up with the toe of his shoe he’d be doing it.

 

“I’m sorry.. I don’t know what I was thinking.  No actually I do.. I was worried about you Stiles.. you’re my best friend and.. I just.. yeah.”   Stiles can feel that unease that he’d been carrying in his chest slowly dissipate.  If he and Scott had been on the outs with each other as well as all the other shit that had been going on lately.. that would’ve just been too much, because whatever else had ever gone on in his life, his one constant has been his friendship with Scott. 

 

Looking at the dark haired teen Stiles can see that he’s pale and there are dark circles under his big brown eyes and is that a bruise on his throat.. he can’t really tell in this light.

 

“I know you care, ‘cause who wouldn’t love this awesomeness..”  Stiles hands flutter in the air over the length of his torso.  “It’s okay.. we’re okay.  And because of that I can say.. seriously dude you look like shit.”  He steps closer and wraps his arms around the other boy’s shoulders and pats him on the back. 

 

Stiles freezes when he hears twin growls echo around the examination room.  The first comes from the teenager he’s hugging.  Slowly Stiles releases his arms, Scott growls a warning, low in his throat as he presses his face into Stiles’ neck and inhales deeply. 

 

From behind him he can feel the looming presence of his mate.. his seriously pissed off mate.  Derek is projecting fury, outrage and fear through their bond and it’s a strange overwhelming feeling for Stiles that makes him feel nauseous like he’s on a never-ending rollercoaster after eating a couple of burritos with the works.

 

“Scott.. Scott watcha doing?”  He can hear the shakiness in his own voice and that just increases his alarm because it’s an instinctive thing.. his ‘spidey-senses’ are tingling telling him that he’s in danger.. from his best friend.  Scott’s arms clutch tighter as Stiles tries to ease out of his embrace.  Winces when he feels pinpricks in his back and shoulders and a snaking tendril of fear coils low in his belly.  Scott’s claws have popped.

 

Derek roars his outrage that his mate is being hurt, but Stiles knows he’s wary of trying to drag him away from Scott.. afraid that he’ll be seriously hurt if he tries to intervene so directly, he’s waiting like the predator he is for an opportunity.. for a mistake on his prey’s part.  Stiles doesn’t doubt for an instant that Scott is in his werebeast’s sights as prey.

 

“You smell wrong.”  Scott’s voice is deep and throaty, he draws in another deep breath.  “You fucked him.”  Scott’s head jerks back nostrils flaring and he looks into Stiles’ face and he can see Scott’s wolfed out.  The extra hair has sprouted thick and furry and heavier features have formed across the brow and nose, his canines have dropped and are pointed and sharp making little dents in his lip. 

 

What freaks Stiles out is that the normal golden eyes of a Beta that Scott normally possesses are flickering between gold and red.  Over and over and Stiles holds his breath and then releases it in a long hissing gasp when they settle on red.  They don’t change.

 

Oh shit, Scott’s risen.  He’s gone beyond the Beta he was and has now risen and accepted his Alphahood and for some reason the catalyst is.. him.

 

“You can’t have him.  He’s mine.”  Scott snarls at Derek who’s moved directly behind Stiles.  Derek snarls back just as fiercely, any awkwardness that had been between them apparently forgotten as he defends his mate.   Scott tries to drag him around behind him as he turns watching Derek circle them, but Stiles resists he can’t help it, he’s not going to make it easy for him.. it’s not in his nature.

 

“Scott.. what are you saying?  I’m your friend.. your best friend and that’s it.”  Stiles feels hot and cold, his body trembling because this is not going to end well if he doesn’t do something right now.  His mate and his best friend are facing off and it wouldn’t be training or drills that they’d done as a pack.. it would be for real and someone would get hurt and.. no he wasn’t going to let that happen.  Not over him.

 

“You’re my pack.. MINE.”  Scott roars the last at the wolfbeast.  “He’s trying to take you away from me..”  He whispers looking into Stiles face and there’s almost apology written across his wolf-like features. 

 

“I’m sorry Stiles.. I know I said I wouldn’t.. but, I can’t let him..”  When his mouth opens wide and Stiles can see his canines he knows what Scott’s going to do.. fuck.. he’s going to give him the bite.. THE BITE.  He starts to struggle and Derek’s there reaching in and punching Scott in the face before he can latch on.  Stiles can feel the True Alpha’s hot breath against his skin.. he’s that close. 

 

Scott doesn’t let go even as he’s sent flying back by the hit and Stiles can feel himself being lifted off his feet and he’s hurtling through the air and almost in slow motion he sees Scott try and draw him into his embrace he’s pretty sure it’s to protect him from impact.. but they’re not quite aligned right and while his body is cushioned by his friend, his head snaps back and hits the leg of the examination table with a solid thwack that echoes in his skull.

 

The twin roars that threaten to burst his eardrums fade to whines and whimpers and Stiles hopes to God that two of the people he loves most on the planet aren’t about to kill each other before he sinks gratefully into a darkness that holds blessed oblivion, because if they do he doesn’t want to climb back out of it ever.

 

 

When Stiles comes to there’s no wondering where he is or what happened.. because he knows.  He’s being held in strong arms and the side of his face is pressed into a warm furry chest and he can hear a soft worried keening that originates somewhere deep inside of this body he’s lying against.  He nuzzles into the fur and hears that keening stutter and stumble.. it becomes a questioning hopeful whine.  Stiles opens his eyes.

 

Derek’s face is so close from where he’s hunched over him that he can feel his hot breath against his cheeks.  Derek presses his muzzle into the crook of his neck and just holds him tight.  Love and fear in equal measure pour through their bond and Stiles knows that his wolfbeast is on the edge right now.. that seeing him get hurt.. well just as Stiles can’t bear to see harm come to his mate then Derek is ten times worse after all the losses he’s suffered.

 

“’m alright.. I’m okay.”  He mumbles, comforting the other man.  Lifting his hand up, Stiles tangles his fingers through the hair at the back of Derek’s head and pushes him harder into his neck and the wolfbeast licks and licks at the vein that travels up the side of his neck. 

 

Stiles winces ‘cause his head is throbbing.. but it’s like he’s just got a wicked headache rather than he actually broke something.  Derek pulls back and his eyes are the liquid green that sucks Stiles in and keeps him mesmerized and powerless to do anything but stare back, heart thundering wildly in his chest.

 

With one clawed hand Derek gently cups the back of his head and Stiles can feel the throbbing ease until it’s next to nothing, a distant niggling sensation.

 

“Thank you.”  He whispers knowing that his mate has drawn the pain out of him.  There’s a look in Derek’s eyes and maybe for the first time Stiles fully appreciates what it means to be the mate of a werewolf.  No, it’s rather being the mate of this man.  That look is telling him that if anything ever happens to him.. that Derek will not survive it, will deliberately **_not_** survive it and his heart clenches so fiercely and much as he’d like to tell him not to be stupid.. to carry on living for him no matter what.. he can’t.  Because that would make him the worst type of hypocrite. 

 

A peace of sorts settles in his chest, an instinctive knowing that whatever may happen in the future he and Derek are so inextricably entwined that where one goes the other will follow even if that includes the final journey that leaves this life behind.

 

“How are you feeling Mr Stilinski?”  It’s Deaton and he’s calling from behind the closed door that leads to the front reception room.  The wolfbeast clutches him even tighter, growling low and angrily, his huge head rolls, lip curling back and he snarls flashing long canines towards the door.

 

“Er.. fine I guess.  Where’s Scott?”  Derek’s eyes flash hotly when he says his friend’s name and he swallows hard.  “And why are you out there?”

 

“Scott’s gone home as his presence seemed to provoke Alpha Hale, who was quite..  insistent that no one touch you.. in fact he didn’t want any of us in the same room with you.”  Stiles looks at Derek’s face and his expression is so fierce and deadly that Stiles can’t quite control the shiver that ripples down the length of his spine.  If he wasn’t still connected to Derek through the mate bond and could feel the love he has for him, Stiles would be terrified, the look in the wolfbeast’s eyes promises death to anyone who harms his mate.

 

“Is Scott still in one piece?”  Stiles asks tentatively, afraid of the answer he might get.

 

“He’s more or less intact.”  Deaton says confidently, enough that Stiles can relax slightly.  His werewolf healing should get him through the worst of it, particularly as he’s now an Alpha.

 

“How long was I out for?”  It can’t have been for too long surely, he gingerly touches the sore point on the back of his head, there’s swelling but it’s not even a proper lump really.

 

“About half an hour.”

 

“What?  That can’t be.. I don’t feel that bad..”  Stiles can’t believe what he’s hearing.  How is it possible?  He plays lacrosse and he’s seen a few players with head injuries, a helmet can only protect so far and if the hit lands right...  well being knocked out is no picnic, but for half an hour solid that’s a definite hospital visit.

 

“I know what you’re thinking Stiles.  If I had any doubts at all about you suffering serious injury or concussion I would have you in hospital, but I don’t think you have anything to worry about you are the mate of an Alpha werewolf and remember we were talking about your bond and how well you were feeling I think you will find that you now possess enhanced healing and immunity from disease.  Not as good as a werewolf mind you, so don’t go thinking you can get shot for instance or expose yourself to Ebola without repercussions.”  Hey, Stiles thinks, he does have a sense of humor.. who knew.  “But cuts, bruises and such like I think you will find heal quicker than normal.”

 

“I’ve arranged for Miss Lydia to drive you both home, just to be on the safe side.  I think that would be in the best interests of us all.  I don’t think Derek will perceive her as being a threat as he would one of the other wolves.  Isaac will follow in her car, but won’t interact with either of you.”  His voice is as monotone as ever and Stiles seriously wonders does anything ever rattle the man.

 

“I’ve also taken the liberty of speaking to Mrs McCall who will pass on a message to your father Stiles that you are unable to see him today due to a little mishap.”

 

“Uhh.. thank you.”  Seriously, nothing gets to the guy at all.  He is a good source of information though.  “Why did Scott go red-eye?”

 

Even from a distance Stiles can hear the sigh that the vet makes behind closed doors.

 

“He’s been on the cusp for a long time now Stiles.  He just needed something worth fighting for to bring it out.”

 

“And that something was me?”  Stiles can’t believe what he’s hearing.  Scott’s his brother and that’s it.  They’re close but.. not that close.

 

“You don’t need to panic Stiles..”  Easy for him to say.  “You and Scott have been friends for a long time and his wolf recognises you as pack.. his pack.  Now that you and Derek are mates, Scott feels threatened that he’s going to lose a pack member and his wolf is demanding that he do something about it.”

 

Okay.  Yeah that makes sense.  He and Scott have been bros for such a long time now, his mom used to say that they were joined at the hip.. so he can sorta understand what’s going on in his friend’s wolfy primal brain.  Scott loves him, but it’s not like he’s **_in_** love with him or anything like that, more a fear that their little pack of two was disintegrating before his eyes now that Stiles was in love with Derek and mated to him.  What an idiot.

 

“We’re coming out, okay.”  Stiles calls and starts to shift in the wolfbeast’s lap struggling to get up.  Derek just holds him tighter and a rumbling vibration from deep in his chest starts. 

 

“I’m alright.”  Stiles soothes, he captures the wolf’s large head and presses his face close before kissing the top of his muzzle.  “Really.. I just want to go home with you.. no one else just the two of us okay?”

 

Derek lets out a chuffing noise of agreement and swipes his tongue along Stiles’ jawline before getting to his feet, easily holding the teenager in his arms.  He doesn’t seem to be in the mood to let Stiles go anytime soon now and Stiles doesn’t fight it.. he can feel through the bond that Derek needs to keep him close, finds comfort in it.  He can’t deny that he does too.

 

He reaches out and turns the doorknob seeing as his wolfbeast has one arm under his knees and the other supporting his back.. and scowls furiously when he sees first, raised sculpted eyebrows and then the smirk on Lydia’s face. 

 

He feels like some Victorian maiden being carried away to be ravished.. actually..  He ignores the strawberry blonde banshee and looks at his mate speculatively and can’t help but picture said ravishment in his mind.  Derek looks back and if he had an eyebrow to quirk it would be up there.  Stiles can feel the heat in his cheeks as he tries to focus knowing that his mate can feel his.. interest.

 

Derek doesn’t seem to want to waste any time and immediately heads to where Stiles’ jeep is parked in the delivery dock.  Stiles can only call over the huge shoulder.

 

“Thanks Doc.”  The Emissary just nods his head.

 

“If you have any ongoing headaches or feel ill in anyway get yourself to your doctor or the hospital.  I’m confident though that you’ll recover completely very soon.”  Deaton says by way of reply.

 

Derek makes it quite clear that he and Stiles are not going to be separated by opening the rear doors and placing him to the back of the flat cargo area up against the front seats.  Derek climbs in and draws Stiles into his arms, his front to Stiles’ back and curls around him protectively.  Lydia closes the door behind them and climbs into the driver’s seat.  Looking over her shoulder she looks down at the two of them and Stiles can see her lips are twitching at the corners, oh God.. she’s going to say something that will annihilate them at this close range.

 

“Okay you two lovebirds, lets get you home.” 

 

Oh.. okay that wasn’t so bad at all.

 

“Hey wanna hear my new nickname for you?  Doggie Stiles.”  She gives a wicked laugh before accelerating down the street.  Stiles just slaps a hand over his hot face and cringes.  It was so much worse.

 

 

Even when they are back at Stiles’ home, Derek refuses to put Stiles down.  Stiles waved goodbye to Lydia, why he has no idea as she continued to make lewd dog related comments the entire drive home finishing with the quite mild Stiles must practice his ‘Downward Dog’ position so he’s nice and bendy as she puts it, and Derek snarled and snapped to his satisfaction at Isaac when he pulled up behind the jeep in her car.  Stiles mouthing apologies the whole time to the bewildered blonde werewolf behind the wheel when his mate wasn't looking.

 

“Seriously.. I have two perfectly good feet.. look count ‘em.. one, two.”  Stiles points to his feet wriggling them back and forth to demonstrate how well they work.  Derek just snorts.  “Please.. put me down.  I mean it.. right now.”

 

Derek looks into his eyes and whines softly, pleading.

 

“I am fine.  You heard Deaton.. look you can stay right by me.. I just want to fix us something to eat because I’m starving.”  Stiles folds his arms and gives the wolfbeast his sternest look, one he’s copied from his Dad and it’s 99.9% effective.  Derek’s massive chest moves up and down when he heaves a long sigh of disapproval and puts Stiles down, one claw still curled around his bicep supportively.

 

“Thank you.”  Stiles pats the other man’s broad chest.  However, the next half an hour proves to be a test for Stiles’ patience and self-control.  Derek shadows every move he makes.. follows on his heels so closely that Stiles is afraid that if he stops too suddenly Derek’s going to somehow merge with him permanently.

 

As he makes a huge omelette with eggs, peppers, cheese, tomato and ham, Derek’s there driving him crazy with a hunger for more than food.. it starts when Stiles chops the ham into little squares and he puts a slice of the meat into his own mouth and pulls out another whole piece from the packet and holds it up over his shoulder knowing his wolf is right there.

 

What he didn’t expect is for Derek to curl his hot wet tongue around the piece of meat and Stiles’ fingers too.   He takes it between his teeth and eats it before running his tongue over the ends of Stiles’ fingers in appreciation.  The hot burn that floods through the conduit between them makes Stiles grit his jaw and he can feel his cock twitch in his pants.

 

From that point on Stiles thinks Derek’s determined to drive him out of his mind with need, he constantly touches him so much he wants to scream.  The huge furred body brushing against him everywhere.. solid chest against his shoulder blades as he whisks the ingredients together.. arms pressed tight against each other as they stand side by side at the cooktop.. Derek’s head resting heavy on his shoulder, hot breath ruffling Stiles’ hair before he nuzzles into his neck and with a flick of his curling tongue leaves a brand of wet heat on his chin as he washes up the chopping board and sharp knife in the sink.  He's just luck he didn't stab himself as his fingers clench reflexively. 

 

When he drags a claw gently up the length of Stiles’ arm from the back of his hand to the sensitive inner crease of his elbow making him shudder, Stiles thinks he’s in imminent danger of exploding.  The wolfish smirk on his mate’s face at his reaction doesn’t help.  

 

Thankfully the omelette is done and Stiles dishes it up, two thirds going onto his wolf’s plate and he doesn’t bother moving out of the kitchen just stands on the opposite side of the island bench and eats a forkful, watching with satisfaction as Derek devours his in seconds, licking the plate clean. 

 

Well payback’s a bitch.  Stiles slows down, savours each bite making little noises of appreciation as he chews and swallows before licking his lips and starting all over again with the next little forkful, watching his wolfbeast on the far side of the bench shift restlessly from foot to foot.  

 

“Oh my god.. this is so good.. you’ve no idea.. I’ve been hungry for so long..”  Stiles moans as he closes his eyes in apparent ecstasy.  When he opens them he finds Derek standing right beside him, his eyes are blazing red and his nostrils are flaring in time with his rapid breathing and his cock is erect and while only inches away from his hip Stiles is positive he can feel the heat radiating from it into his flesh. 

 

With one claw he reaches out and takes hold of the fork that Stiles is holding and it looks tiny, tiny in his huge paw but with surprising dexterity he’s able to gather another forkful of omelette and bring it up to Stiles’ mouth.

 

Stiles opens his mouth wide and lets his tongue flicker beckoning Derek to come closer with the fork, when he feels the metal tines on his lips, he wraps around it with his mouth and hums in appreciation.  For some reason the flavours feel richer and fuller as he slowly draws back letting the fork fall away empty.  Derek watches him with an intensity that scalds, burns across his skin.. blisters his nerve endings and sets fire to his groin. 

 

With each mouthful that Derek feeds him Stiles moans and flutters his eyelids closed in appreciation.. the wolf is whining non-stop now, breathing so harshly that Stiles strokes his chest to soothe him.  His free claw whips up and presses Stiles’ hand to his chest hard and slowly drags it to his left side, under his palm he can feel the thundering beat of Derek’s heart as it tries to break through his ribcage. 

 

His fingertips brush against a nub of flesh beneath the fur and Stiles can feel his mouth gape as he realises he’s found Derek’s erect nipple.  Rubs his fingers back and forth delighting in the sensation of it stiffening even further, Derek drops the fork onto the plate with a clatter and yanks his body against his, holding him tight.  Wraps his arms around him and buries his muzzle into Stiles’ neck and he can feel the panting hot breath of this massive predator against his skin.

 

Stiles is shivering, but he’s not cold.  Every nerve within his body feels like it’s been set alight and he can’t help whispering into his wolfbeast’s ear.

 

“Derek.. please I need you so much.”  The constant stream of love and need that has been flowing between the two of them ratchets up to a raging torrent of white hot hunger that leaves them both shaking.

 

“Sssshhhhttttilllles..”  Derek lifts his mate into his arms and with a steady determined stride climbs up the stairs to Stiles’ bedroom.  Once there he hooks his claws into the bottom of Stiles t-shirt and looks into the younger man’s eyes and with the smallest of chuffs asks the question, Stiles can see the wolfbeast’s holding his breath which he releases in a huge exhalation when Stiles nods yes.  Derek quickly pulls it up and off the younger man revealing his pale belly and torso dotted with milk chocolate moles. 

 

His claws scrape along Stiles’ belt and the teen knows what Derek’s asking him to do and with trembling fingers he undoes the belt and the top button of his pants, lifts his eyes to watch Derek’s face as he pulls down the zipper.  The wolfbeast is looking at the shadowed gap in the fly of his pants intently and when he licks his lips Stiles can feel it like a kick to the ‘nads. 

 

He toes off his shoes and reaches down with one hand and tugs off his socks so he’s standing in front of the wolfbeast.. standing in front of Derek with his burning red eyes that devour him.. in only his open pants, bare toes curling into the rug under his feet. 

 

Derek kneels in front of him and presses his face into Stiles’ belly, nuzzling the soft flesh that a wolf would find the most tender.. most vulnerable of all.  When he licks the line of hair that runs from Stiles’ belly button down to the open parted flaps of his pants Stiles can’t control the jolt of sensitivity that has him twitching beneath the wolfbeast’s hot tongue and the grip of his claws on his hips.

 

When Derek hooks his claws into the top of his pants and slowly.. too slowly as far as Stiles is concerned, begins to drag them down his pelvis he can’t look away.  Derek’s not looking at the flesh that’s being revealed to him, his eyes are locked onto Stiles’.  Not even the slap of swollen flesh as Stiles’ cock is caught and dragged down with his underwear, before springing back up to his belly when it’s released, can draw his eyes away from the teen’s. 

 

When his pants are around his ankles, Stiles places one hand on Derek’s shoulder and steps out of them.   The feel of the muscular furred shoulder under his hand helps ground him, stops him from flying apart into a million pieces.

 

Stiles feels like he’s in a dream.   Sunlight is streaming in through the window and he can see dust particles drift weightless through that light, he can feel it’s warmth on his naked skin, his bare bed is behind him the cream of the mattress reflecting white throughout his bedroom.  It illuminates every corner, there are no shadows here.. no darkness.  Even looking down at himself he sees his pale skin is bathed in the reflected glow, making him look even paler.. as though he’s some sort of ivory statue come to life.

 

Derek is still kneeling before him, a dark supplicant at his feet, the top of his head level with Stiles mouth and the younger man can see the thick, hard shaft that has risen from the wolfbeast’s groin lying the full length of his thigh.  Derek’s eyes are flickering over every inch of him unable to stop and focus on any one thing, over and over they roam across his flesh and his eyes flash hotly then glaze over sensuously with each new discovery every time and it seems to move his wolfbeast in ways that Stiles can’t even comprehend. 

 

When one clawed hand reaches out to his and brings it up to Derek’s face and simply holds it there against his cheek, Stiles realises that his eyes have changed from the fiery Alpha red to Derek’s pools of green and that a single tear has welled up and is rolling down the side of his muzzle.

 

Stiles’ heart is being strangled, he can feel rolling waves of despair mixed in with the desire through their bond.  Derek stands abruptly and turns to leave.. what the.. what the hell?

 

“Wait.. where are you going?”  Stiles reaches out and catches his arm.  Derek just looks at him sadly before turning away again.  “No damn it.. what are you doing?  What’s going on in that little wolfy brain of yours.. because from where I’m standing it’s nothing good.”

 

Derek turns back to him and waves his hand, gesturing up and down the length of Stiles’ body before he then indicates his own massive frame, tugs at the long hair that covers his chest before lifting his claws to his face as if he could gouge it off his skull somehow.

 

“Stop it.. stop.. you’ll hurt yourself.”  Stiles reaches up and yanks at the claws that threaten to mutilate. 

 

“What are you doing?  Why.. have you.. have you changed your mind, is that it?”  He can feel something inside him crack wide open at that thought, a great big crevice forming in his chest.

 

Derek growls softly before he grabs both of Stiles’ wrists in his holding them up as Stiles struggles and writhes trying to get away so he can go and hide, somewhere preferably dark and closed in, and lick his wounds.

 

There’s a rough harsh noise coming from Derek’s throat and it’s like his vocal chords are being stretched and shaped into ways not meant for a wolfbeast.

 

“Ugghh..”  Derek shakes his head frustrated.  Stiles can’t move as he watches the strain on the other man’s face as he tries to shape a muzzle not formed to speak.  “Ugghneee..  ugghneee..  ugghleee..” 

 

“Ugly?”  Stiles says and Derek’s head bobs up and down, yes yes yes.  “You think you’re ugly?”  His wolfbeast turns his head away so he doesn’t have to look into Stiles’ eyes anymore and nods again. 

 

Stiles can feel his heart twist into a hard aching knot in his chest at the sorrow, grief and regret that floods through their bond, it nearly swamps him like at the beach when a wave knocks you off your feet and you go tumbling under, swallowed by the rolling, pounding surf sure that you’ll never find the surface again. 

 

With everything he is Stiles gathers every ounce, every speck of love and hunger and desire that he feels for the man in front of him and pushes it back.  Watches as Derek sways and staggers back momentarily.

 

“It may have taken that bitch to make me see what I already felt, but my God.. don’t you know you fuckin’ idiot.. you are the most beautiful part of my life.. whether you’re Derek the Greek God, Derek my wolfbeast it doesn’t matter you’re beautiful to me any which way.. I see you and I love you.  All of you.”  He can’t believe that Derek can’t see how much he loves him and that he’s breathless half the time whenever he’s around.. like his lungs forget to inhale because he’s not been able to take his eyes off him.

 

“I love you when you’re grumpy, when you’re my sourwolf, when you push me into walls even when you bang my head into my steering wheel.”  He can see enough of Derek’s face to see him wince at that comment.

 

“I love you when the pack are around, all of us together and you stand in the background and watch us with that little smile that you don’t want anyone to see because you’re happy.. I love that you always put money into charity collection tins.. I love you when you smile and go gooey-eyed at babies and pull funny faces for kids to make them laugh when we’re out and you think I’m not looking.. I love that you love cats even though they don’t necessarily like you..”  Derek’s head jerks back around to look at him. 

 

“Yes you moron I see these things.. most of all I love the good man you are.. I want to be with you anyway I can as close as I possibly can.  We’re going to find a way I know we are.. we’ll keep looking, keep searching and if by the remotest chance we don’t .. I’m warning you now, I’m not going anywhere and if you try and be all god damn noble or anything remotely stupid like that and run away.. I’m fucking tracking you down and kicking your werewolfy ass.” 

 

He places his hands on the large furry chest in front of him and strokes through the long hair soothingly, leans forward and starts to press soft kisses against the hardness.  A shuddering breath wracks through Derek’s chest before he frantically, desperately wraps his arms around Stiles and holds him.. clutching at him like he’s his sole lifeline.  Stiles doesn’t know what he says.. what he murmurs to the other man.. just tries to comfort him as much as he’s able.

 

Derek drags one of his claws from around Stiles back to lightly trace a swirling pattern over his shoulder and down the length of his arm, it leaves goosebumps in its wake and Stiles shivers.  Derek twines his claws into Stiles’ fingers and slowly stretches back drawing his hand with it.. Stiles can feel prickling heat course up his chest and throat to enflame his cheeks and his scalp tingles.  His face is planted tight against the hard furry body, he’s so broad around.

 

Is Derek..  he is.. God he is.. fuck.. fuck..  Stiles can feel Derek pull his hand right around to reach his ass.. and he’s.. he’s touching the cleft between his buttocks and.. he can’t breathe.. looks up into his wolfbeast’s face and sees a gentleness there in the green eyes that makes him want to cry and a permission that makes him harder than he’s ever been in his life.

 

“You.. you’re sure.  We don’t have to.. we can.. I can research.. it’s what I do.”  He chokes out.  Derek growls a low rumble and there’s that huff he makes and Stiles automatically responds in kind.  “I love you too.”

 

With their fingers entwined he leads Derek back to the bed and ponders how.. well he knows how.. but he’s not done anything like this before and wonders if Derek has.

 

“Have you uhmm.. you know.. with a guy?”  Stiles asks and is ridiculously pleased when Derek shakes his head no and equally terrified because.. virgin here and he’s going in blind.  Well not too blind, he’s looked at internet porn.. who hasn’t..

 

Unless you’re a monk.

 

In Tibet maybe, with no wifi. 

 

He’s an equal opportunity viewer and he’s watched a variety, straight and gay.. so he knows about lots of lube and condoms.. check and check again.  He’s got plenty in his bedside drawer because he’s always been an optimistic kinda guy and you just never know.. and well he’s here right now about to have sex with Derek Hale, so maybe wishing on a star or when he blew out those candles on his last birthday cake really did work. 

 

It didn’t sound right though.. not when he thinks of Derek, it’s more than sex, and “making love”.. he mentally adds the finger type quotation marks, had always sounded a bit corny to him before but.. these feelings he has for Derek if that doesn’t convince him that whatever he does with his wolfbeast right now isn’t making love he doesn’t know what will.  All he wants is to make him feel good.. better than good if possible, but he’s not too sure about his ability to last, so ‘good’ is what he’s aiming for.

 

Derek’s looking at him quite hesitantly and Stiles smiles at him and reaches out to hold his claw.

 

“It’s okay.. if either one of us doesn’t like something or doesn’t want to.. we let each other know and we stop.  Alright.”  He wants Derek to believe him, so much he can’t be anything but truthful.  “I want to be with you so bad it hurts.. but not so much I can’t or won’t stop okay.”

 

Derek nods slowly and climbs onto the bed sitting up on his knees.  When Stiles gets on.. Derek moves.  When he moves closer, Derek moves again a deep rumble coming from his chest.  Everytime Stiles tries to get near the wolfbeast’s back he shuffles around.  They’re literally going around in circles. 

 

He tries to recall everything he’s read on the mating habits of real wolves, looked upon that research as though he was reading ‘The joy of sex’ for werewolves.  He remembers that they often drape a paw across their mate’s back when courting. 

 

He’d always suspected that they would be reasonably similar to werewolves, so he doesn’t know who’s more surprised when he lunges and places his hand on the spot between Derek’s shoulder blades and pushes down, the other on his hip, and feels Derek dip down almost passively and still beneath his touch.  Can feel Derek’s rapid panting.. not sure if it’s fear or something else..

 

“Derek?”  Stiles says his name questioningly.. hoping that the wolf can hear the unspoken questions of ‘are you okay?’ and ‘is this too much, do you want me to stop?’ because he’s feeling too hot and he can’t breathe, can’t get enough air in to let his vocal chords vibrate and work properly.

 

He lifts his hand from his back slightly and it’s enough, his wolfbeast’s massive head whips around eyes wild, growling fiercely and snaps his jaws, massive canines gleaming.  Startled Stiles flails backwards and almost tumbles right off the bed before a large claw quickly grabs his hand and hauls him back upright.

 

His heart’s beating frantically in his chest and he can see Derek’s looking at him with apology in his eyes and he can feel the dismay rolling through their bond from him.  He gives an aching sigh and Stiles can see that Derek’s cock isn’t as prominent as it was previously. Trying to bite your mate’s head off would probably do that.

 

Though it seems to have had the reverse effect on him, Stiles’ cock throbs painfully full and swollen, he stifles a moan as he feels pre-come ooze slickly out of the head.  Nothing like a bit of danger to make you want to feel alive in every way.

 

Deaton did say he thought he would have his work cut out for him.  Stiles starts to snicker, all too aware that Derek gives him a strange look and questioning whine in response.

 

“I got this weird idea in my head that we’re chasing our own tails.. or more specifically I’m chasing yours.”  Derek huffs not impressed and Stiles holds up his hands in surrender. 

 

“I get the really strong feeling you don’t like anyone at your back.. so we’ll adapt.”  He swings around so he’s facing his wolfbeast’s front and lifts his hands and cups his huge head in his hands and whispers because his throat feels suddenly tight at where his thoughts are leading.  “I kinda want to see your face anyway.. because first time and all.. for both of us..” 

 

He closes his eyes, heart thundering in his chest.  Feels Derek press his muzzle against his cheek and gently lick at his ear, tracing the whorls and all Stiles can do is sigh at the pleasure.  Before he gets lost to it, he shimmies back off the bed and Derek whines in puzzlement and Stiles just holds up his hand and hurries to his closet and gathers up all the pillows before coming back to the bed.  He scatters the bulk along the headboard and a couple he puts next to the bed on the floor within easy reach.

 

“Now where were we.”  He kneels in the middle of the bed facing Derek, all too aware that both of his knees are between the wide sprawl of his wolfbeast’s thickly muscled thighs.  He can see that Derek’s cock is lying against his thigh.  He reaches out and places his hands on the other man’s chest.  Lets his fingers stroke through the fur savouring the texture as it brushes against his palms and sensitive fingertips.

 

“You’re so soft it feels.. incredible.”  Over and over he watches his pale hands slide through the thick black fur, as it parts he sees the pink human flesh beneath.  He can see and feel Derek’s chest rise and fall, the pace of which is becoming slightly quicker with each brush of his hand over his body. 

 

His questing, seeking fingers finds the nubs on either side of his chest and he can’t help but run his hands over them.. again and again delighting in the feeling of them becoming firmer, more erect.  He plucks at them gently between thumb and forefinger and feels a tremor run through his mate’s body.  Glancing upwards he sees that Derek’s eyes have shifted back to the heated red glow of his Alpha.

 

“Derek..”  His name falls from his lips in a heavy sigh.  Leaning forward he parts the fur around one taut nipple and presses his mouth to it, sucking it in.  He feels Derek lift up off his heels, knows that it was an unconscious, uncontrollable movement and Stiles has to rise with him and there’s a noise his wolf makes low in his throat that has Stiles flicking and sucking that nub of flesh in his mouth with harder, firmer strokes. 

 

He’s still rubbing and plucking at the other one when he feels claws slide over his back, one dips down to stroke the groove of his spine and the other clasps the back of his head.. cupping it gently, supporting it as he holds him to his chest.

 

Stiles pulls off gasping for air, he’s so turned on can feel Derek’s claws scrape delicately down his spine and it sends goosebumps shooting off in all directions across his bare skin.  He lifts his head to press it into Derek’s throat breathing his scent in deep into his lungs, shuddering as he feels Derek’s claws rub and stroke, clutching desperately at his flesh. 

 

He can feel that Derek’s back on the same page with him going by the hot heavy weight of his cock pressing into his hip and he can’t help but give into the urge to grind against it.  It’s so good all he can do is grab onto his wolf and tangle his fingers into his fur, letting it support him and keep him upright.

 

Stiles swallows hard as he sits back on his heels and looks down at his lap, his cock is thick and red and so swollen he’s almost afraid to lay a finger on it, he needs to move this along or it’s really going to be all over too soon.  He nearly passes out when he sees Derek’s claw-like hand reach for it, he has to push him away, has to grab it at the base before he spills.

 

“Don’t.”  He chokes out and glances up and sees a flash of hurt in those burning eyes.  “I.. if you touch me.. I can’t.. I won’t.. please..”  He hopes Derek understands and he sends every bit of longing that’s surging through his system to his mate through their bond and when the wolfbeast closes his eyes and whimpers, a long aching hurt sound it makes the hair on the back of his neck prickle and stand on end.

 

With one hand he pushes against his mate’s chest, guiding him to lie back against the mound of pillows, legs stretched out on either side of him.  Seeing him like this Stiles can appreciate fully how absolutely huge Derek is in this form, his feet hang over the end of the bed even though he’s propped up by pillows at the headboard and there’s barely any room either side of him for anyone, namely Stiles, to lie next to him. 

 

He’s big, but it’s all in proportion, the muscles fit just right on the huge frame.  They’re hard to distinguish fully because of the pelt of long hair that covers him and it makes him long to run his hands over him and discover them by touch.

 

Stiles places his palms either side at the tops of Derek’s legs, where he guesses the groove that defines the line between thigh and torso is and slides them down and feels through the soft hair the ripple and flex of muscle as Derek shifts restlessly beneath his touch.  Over and over he strokes sometimes curling around so he’s following the line down the back of his thighs to the sensitive area behind Derek’s knees, watches in delight as he jerks and twitches as he strokes. 

 

Rising up on his knees he surges forward and lays down on top of Derek pressing his face into his chest and letting his cock grind against the heat of Derek’s, there’s no fluid apart from his own pre-come and that extra friction is a delicious burn.. not enough to make him come but still good.

 

Derek roars and his hips rock violently against Stiles belly and cock and his claws scrabble frantically at his back, he winces as one catches and breaks the skin but it’s a good hurt knowing that his wolfbeast is desperate and needing.

 

He pushes back up and while Derek’s thrusting and grinding into the air searching for friction Stiles is able to slide a couple of pillows under his hips.  Derek stops and watches him intently, red eyes burning. 

 

“Sshhh.. it’s okay.”  He says softly sending reassurance through their bond and sees Derek’s muscles relax slightly.  Hunched over Derek’s groin with both hands he grasps the thick heavy weight that is his cock and is instantly gratified to see Derek’s abdomen spasm wildly making his head lift up off the pillow before it crashes back down and grinds into its softness. 

 

Stiles hears whining and it’s pitchy and constant and he uses it as a rhythm to start stroking from the base all the way up to the mushroom shaped head.  He can see partially hidden by the foreskin the big bubbling spurt of pre-come ooze out of the deep red slit and gathers it up in his hands to smooth it down the length. 

 

“Fuck.. you are so beautiful.. look at your cock.. Derek it’s.. fuck I need to okay..”  Stiles drops down and looks at the head of that slick glistening thickness and sticks his tongue out and licks across the slit gathering up a white pearl of pre-come that had formed there and rolls it around his mouth, discerning the flavour.  It’s a little bit salty but surprisingly it’s a fresh, clean taste and he hums in approval. 

 

A loud tearing sound draws his attention to where his mate is writhing as he watches Stiles caress his cock, one hand grasping the pillow behind his head the other digging into the mattress, it’s this one that has torn a hole in the fabric.

 

Something inside Stiles breaks free and howls in delight that he’s been able to give his mate such pleasure.. wants to keep going.. give him more and more until Derek shatters under his hand.. his mouth.. his cock.  He reaches across to his bedside table and pulls on the drawer, nearly pulls it out entirely in his urgency. 

 

Fumbles inside and grabs the bottle of lube and manages to flick the cap open with one hand.  He pours it into his hand then rubs them together before grasping Derek’s thick cock again and starts to stroke and Derek practically levitates off the bed, his hips thrusting into the air. 

 

Stiles makes sure not to get any lube on the head because he wants to be able to taste Derek not some manufactured lubricant.  So he strokes and rubs feeling Derek’s cock throb under his fingers, on this downstroke he lets his slick lubed up hands slide down and rub and massage his big heavy balls at the same time as he lets his tongue lightly glide across the slit of his head.  Derek rocks up onto his elbows, his breathing fast and whiny in a body that trembles and shakes so much that the bed bangs against the wall.

 

He’s thrusting wildly into the air before he collapses back onto the mattress and Stiles slides his hands under Derek’s knees and pushes up.

 

“Hold them.. here.”  He directs Derek to grab the backs of his knees with a voice that is little more than a rasp.  Feels a triumphant flutter in his belly when the wolfbeast doesn’t hesitate and with his thighs up and open wide exposes his most vulnerable part to Stiles’ hungry gaze. 

 

Coating more lube on his fingers and hands, Stiles plays with Derek’s balls cupping and lightly squeezing before he rubs and strokes all the way up the long length of his shaft and back down.  Over the balls and his fingers lightly brush against the pink pucker.  Derek’s moaning and growling and Stiles is so fucking hard he’s gonna burst.  Does the same movement again and presses harder with one finger and then again, over and over patiently and lovingly rubbing, caressing and pressing against that spot until it gives and Stiles’ finger catches on the rim and slides in.

 

They both freeze and Stiles has to grab his dick at the base to stop himself from coming right there and then because Derek is hot and silky smooth and tight.. the thought of that wrapped around his cock has every muscle in his body tensing as he tries to hold himself back from throwing himself onto the other man and just pushing in and fucking him.. fucking him over and over until there is nothing left of either of them. 

 

He twists his finger slowly inside Derek and nearly has a coronary when Derek growls and snarls but his hips start to push up and he’s sucking Stiles’ finger in deeper inside him and.. oh fuck.. oh fuck..

 

He squirts more lube at Derek’s hole and his trembling fingers because he needs to stretch Derek more so he doesn’t hurt him but he can’t last much longer.  Stiles pulls his finger out and rubs and pushes gently at the entrance that’s starting to look flushed-red and slightly puffy.  If he ever gets to do this again with Derek he’ll seriously try putting his mouth on him there.. wonders what the wolfbeast’s reaction to that would be. 

 

He’s rubbing Derek’s balls with one hand, they’ve noticeably drawn up and he recognises that the other man’s close, he really wants to be inside him when he comes.  He presses two fingers in again and it’s so slick and easy that he’s slowly pushing in and out and Derek’s canting his hips upward and he whines hotly as Stiles gently scissors those fingers, being oh so careful taking note of every movement, every sound, every feeling that his wolf makes.

 

By the time he has three fingers in Derek’s ass he’s actively thrusting back against them and every now and then Stiles can feel something brush against his fingertips, it feels spongy and every time he touches it Derek keens and his cock jerks.  That does it.. he needs to be inside him.. right fucking now..

 

“Derek.. is it okay.. can I.. please please let me..”  His voice is broken.. he’s broken.. he needs his mate so much he’s gonna die if he can’t.  He can feel the sweat that’s built up over the time he’s been working Derek open, running down his chest and back.  Looks into the other man’s eyes and sees them flicker from red to his own beautiful green and there it is.. even before Derek physically nods his head Stiles can see the permission freely given in his eyes.

 

Stiles grabs the lube and pours it down his abdomen, rubbing it over his belly before gingerly covering his cock because if he lingers too long there.. nuh uh  He was going to put on a condom, but with his hands so slick from lube, pre-come and sweat there was no way aside from the fact that if he handled his dick too much he would’ve been blowing his load everywhere.  He grabs his cock and slots the head against the pucker and can feel himself tremble.. it’s here.. the moment when he gives Derek his virginity and takes Derek's into his keeping forever.

 

He reaches up to where Derek’s claws hold his knees drawn back and he threads his fingers with his wolf’s and lifts his head and looks into glowing red eyes wanting to see his face.  To feel this most intimate of connections.  Pushes in and dies a thousand deaths at the feel of the tight muscle gripping the head of his cock so sweetly.  Derek’s eyes widen and his head tips back a wild keening noise coming from his throat.   It makes him want to thrust and push and grind.. want to fuck.. but Stiles manages to hang onto his control by the barest thread. 

 

“God you feel so good.. so tight..”  He grinds out.  “I love you.. fuck I love you so much..”  He can feel Derek sending him feelings of such intense pleasure that he’s sure the other man is determined to drive him right out of his freakin’ mind.  He slides in further.. it’s a painstaking, teeth grinding, ball-shattering slow steady motion until he feels his balls pressing hard against Derek’s ass. 

 

He pants fiercely as he looks at the other man who is panting just as urgently, wanting to make sure his mate is okay, Derek’s eyes are alpha-red and watch Stiles intently.  He growls hungrily and there’s demand in that sound and he pushes his pelvis up into Stiles’ and finally he knows what it is to lose your mind and your control completely..

 

Pulling back he thrusts into that welcoming slick heat and cries out because he’s never known such pleasure existed if he did.. God there would’ve been no stopping him.. he would’ve been on Derek, would never have left him alone wanting it.. begging him.. demanding it.  Stiles is groaning over and over, sweat drips from his forehead into his eyes and it stings and burns but he can’t close them.. hell no and miss out on seeing his wolf writhing beneath him and his head is rolling wildly and his cock is jerking each time Stiles thrusts into him. 

 

He grabs hold of Derek’s huge cock, leans into him slightly and the change in position makes Derek yelp in a good way.. so that’s where it is.. he’s found that elusive prostate.  He pounds and thrusts against it all at the same time he presses Derek’s cock into his lube slick belly wrapping his arms around it tightly and letting it slide back and forth in his grip.  Derek’s roaring over and over and it echoes around the sunlit room and Stiles can feel that sweet slick channel he’s pounding into grip him even tighter and then tighter again and..  Derek’s coming, it shoots all over Stiles’ chest and neck.  Derek howls long and loud in celebration of his release.

 

Stiles can hear someone screaming and thank God he didn’t open the bedroom window when he first came into the bedroom because it’s him screaming, him calling out Derek’s name and he’s babbling telling the other man how much he loves him and needs him and.. fuck fuck  It feels like he’s just been punched in the gut, his stomach contracts so forcefully he nearly collapses and his balls have tightened up so much it’s bordering on pain and then.. he comes.

 

There are no words.. Stiles is educated, well-read and an A+ student in English and yet he has no words to describe the sensation of coming into the hot pulsating channel of Derek’s ass.  It’s a tension that winds up with the force of an atomic bomb, every muscle in his body is taut and locked into position.  Then it’s releasing with equivalent force, pumping out of him in spurting jets of wet heat that have him on the verge of tears it feels so fucking good.. he doesn’t want it to stop ever, he can’t stop grinding into his wolfbeast, his Derek.  He collapses, shaking violently against the soft fur of his mate.  Moans softly when Derek wraps his arms around him.

 

He just wants to drift off but he can’t he needs to make sure.. struggling up he winces as his softened cock is released from Derek’s heat into the cooler air.  Grabs his t-shirt off the floor and wipes futilely at the seemingly endless amounts of Derek’s come that covers his chest, neck and shoulders.  He doesn’t even want to think about how much ended up in his hair.  Looks down at his mate who is looking sleepy and hopefully is that sated?

 

“Are you okay?  I didn’t hurt you did I?”  Watches his mate intently, not wanting him to hide it if he’s hurting.

 

 ** _‘Okay.. more than okay.. that was.. that was fucking amazing.. I never knew..’_  ** Derek shakes his head and Stiles feels numb.  Okay he’s going mad, making love to his mate has obviously melted his brain somehow and he’s gone insane because he swears he just heard..

 

“Did you just think this was more than okay that it was fucking amazing?”  Derek has frozen beneath him, not even taking a breath.

 

**_‘Stiles.. baby you can hear me?’_ **

 

“Did you just call me baby?”  Derek draws in a sharp breath.  Stiles is practically vibrating with excitement.  “I can hear you.. I can hear you..”  He throws himself against Derek and pushes his face into the werebeast’s neck and holds him tight, before pulling back to look into brilliant shining green eyes.

 

“It’s the bond Deaton said consummation might help but I didn’t think..” 

 

 _‘ **I love you.. love you so much..’**_ Derek holds him so tightly that Stiles almost thinks he’s going to pass out before Derek realises that the flapping hand in front of his face isn’t just one of Stiles’ usual flailing moves and lets him go.

 

Stiles sucks in a couple of deep breaths as he looks at Derek’s happy wolfbeast face, eyes shining, red tongue lolling out of the side of his muzzle he looks like he’s smiling rather wickedly.

 

“We need to try.. need to try and get you back.. back to you.”  Stiles presses gentle kisses on Derek’s muzzle, can feel his smile is so wide it’s making his cheeks ache.

 

 ** _‘Yes..God yes..’_  ** Derek sits up and leans back against the headboard and draws Stiles onto his lap, letting the younger man straddle him.

 

“We don’t have the crystal though.”

 

 ** _‘That was only for focus.. I think between you and I we’ve got more than enough and now this deeper connection..’_  ** Derek rubs his claws up and down Stiles’ back, soothing and caressing.

 

“Okay.  Let’s do it.”  He grabs Derek’s claws and holds them in his hands.  “Just picture yourself in your head.”

 

 ** _‘Okay.. I’m tapping into the change.. Stiles.. I think.. I think it’s working..’_  ** Stiles can feel Derek’s excitement and he pushes out from himself that ‘spark’ that feeling.. lets his desire be known that he wants Derek to turn into his human form.  Channels it into the other man and as he watches he sees the black fur fall away and smooth skin is revealed, the bulk of the wolfbeast’s body dissipates like it’s being drawn back into Derek’s body, stored away, and he’s looking into the face of the most beautiful person he’s ever known.

 

Green eyes fringed with long black lashes that fan against the high cheekbones, the smooth angled planes of his cheeks, wide mouth and strong jaw.  Stiles lets go of Derek’s hands and strokes his face over and over.  Can’t control it, he leans forward and presses his lips chastely against Derek’s, feels their warmth against his and moans when Derek slowly parts them and lets his tongue gently slide in and Stiles can’t breathe.. God it’s their first kiss.. only a kiss in comparison to what they’ve just done, but he’s gonna die for sure, his heart’s practically beating out of his chest..

 

 _ **‘Stiles.. I love you and I.. no.. no damn it.. Stiles I can’t stop it..help me..’**_ Stiles pulls back and in horror watches as the black fur crashes back over Derek like a wave and he’s shifting and changing, his face distorting back into that of the wolfbeast.. Stiles tries to push it back but it’s like holding back a tsunami.. a force of nature that won’t be denied.

 

When that force has spent itself upon them, Stiles didn’t let go of Derek through his entire change, just held him tight and they rode it out together.. Stiles finds himself stroking the thick black fur down Derek’s back as his wolfbeast buries his face into Stiles’ throat.

 

 ** _‘Stiles.. what are we going to do?’_  ** Derek’s voice is broken and it echoes the pain that’s ricocheting around in Stiles’ chest.

 

“We’ll work it out.. we’ll find a way.. I’m not giving up on you.. don’t you give up on me okay?”  Stiles hopes with everything that he is, that he sounds convincing to Derek, because an enemy has crept up on Stiles without him even seeing it coming.  An insidious, destructive one and he knows its name all too well..

 

Doubt.


End file.
